The unexamined life

As Socrates said, "The unexamined life is not worth living." How true. And yet, I can't seem to stop examining my own life. It's a real problem. I constantly wonder about where I can improve in my life. I don't always take action, but I obsess over the little things that happen. Working at the hotel, I wonder if I could have handled that guest situation better. I think about spending more time and effort on my papers at school, and then I wait until the last minute to rush them through anyway. It makes no sense. I think about places I've lived and want to live. I know I won't have much say on where we go next year, but I worry about it. Normally, I'd insert some theological decree here about trusting God and not one's self. But I'm not going to. I'm going to keep ranting. I had a dream that my brother, Scott, and I were staying in a hotel. It was really nice. But the staff kept interrupting us. Knocking on the door asking if everything was all right. We told them to get lost. But they wouldn't stop. We had something they wanted. I'm not sure what. Then, as part of the same dream or another dream, I was looking for a place to live in Hawaii and found this tiny studio apartment overlooking the ocean. It had a nice view of a garden as well. But it was only a greenhouse, really, with the glass walls and curved roof. It was so hot in there. The guy said I could rent it for $7200 a month. I was thinking more like $1300. So I decided not to get it. I guess I was reverting back to my single days.

Leah is really getting rambunctious sometimes. She yells and won't listen. Then she quiets down and sucks her thumb so nicely. She is a real test of wills. Kelly's so sweet. She can't seem to do anything wrong. I see how the older child is always to blame for conflict between siblings. She should know better, though she's really only 2 herself.