Apology

I'm sorry to be so judgmental about the people in the 97 Flood. I have no idea what it's like to go through such a thing and am sorry to pass judgment on those who have. I don't know how I might react to such a tragedy. I shouldn't pretend to know. I'm so glad there was comparatively little loss of life from that event and that is the main thing to remember.

Maybe it's because I lost my own boyhood home (my family didn't live there anymore) in the flood, but none of my personal belongings, that I can be so harsh. I might be really sad that the home I lived in is no longer there and am wondering why I don't outwardly mourn the loss. Maybe I have blocked it all out of my mind and wonder why others don't do the same. It is sad to drive by our old lot and not see the house anymore. Very sad.

Create

Sometimes we create problems for ourselves. We set ourselves up for disappointment with unrealistic expectations. We live for the future instead of right now. We don't know what's important in our lives so we let others tell us what is. We are miserable in the process. I can't seem to get out of my head sometimes and realize what's good about the world around me. When I am able to, I know there's so much to be thankful for and then I'm good to go for awhile. Then the devil steps in and I'm all lost again. This seems to be an endless, vicious cycle. I know on some level always that things are good in my life and then, all of a sudden, I get sad. I've been thinking about the 97 Flood in Grand Forks lately cause I read the book, Red River Rising, by A. Shelby and I've been thinking about how much lives were changed, and not changed, by that event. This book talks about the anger of citizens and distrust of government created by peoples' loss of homes and property. When I think about it, some people, it seems, didn't learn that things in their life are just that: things. I have no idea what it was like to go through the flood, but it saddens me to hear about so many people clinging desperately to that which doesn't bring life: physical possessions.

Not much

Kelly is now at the stage where she cries whenever Anne leaves the room. Kelly watches her mommy intently and then, the moment she's out of view, she starts wailing. She cranes her neck to try to see around the corner where Mommy went. Mommy isn't usually gone too long, but that's small comfort for this one. She used to be so content. I know we went through this stage with Leah, too. Someday, Kelly will be just fine when her Mommy leaves the room and we'll wonder what happened. Trust will have happened, I guess.

Daddy and Leah at the farm 

The farm

We had a great time at the farm recently. Mom and Dad (Grandma and Grandpa) were great hosts. Grandma, Leah and Anne and I had fun walking around the yard and pulling the wagon. Kelly went on a wagon ride, too. It's fun to be able to share the farm with them. Grandma and Grandpa make it seem like a fairy tale land. No cares, no worries. Time stands still. Leah remembered the farm from the other times she's been there. She knew right where to look for her buggy and beads. It was awesome.